I'm moving in THREE WEEKS. Things are finally falling into place and I'm going to the school that I've been saying I'm going to go to for the past two years. It is actually happening and I'm terrified.
I finally said it. I'm terrified. I've hinted at it before but those I've mentioned it to have brushed it off and said, "You'll be fine" or "It will be great." I don't deny that I will be fine and I know I have the ability to do great and I'm planning on doing just that. I have to do that to accomplish what I need to to be successful in my chosen field.
I'm still terrified though. There are all those nagging what ifs in the back of my mind and I don't really have anyone to talk to about them. It is the most frustrating thing in the world, so I have turned to a blog. I don't care if this is never read or there are never any comments. I think this could help me and I hope someday I can look back at this and tell myself that I really was silly for being so terrified.
I'm terrified that...
- I'll completely fail at the classwork
- I won't make any friends
- I won't be able to find a job
- If I do find a job, I won't be able to juggle work and school
- I'll discover that what I think I want to do makes me miserable and I'll be back at square one
- My relationship will break up
- I won't have anyone supporting me
- I'll be alone
- A tornado will destroy my apartment
- I'll run out of money
- I'll wrack up huge debt having to borrow money for school
- I'll become a stranger to my family
- My family won't miss me
I'm sure there are more but that's all I can think of right now...I guess I should try to get to sleep, it's been a long day.
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